Tom Volhein

Well, it happened.  Yesterday I was talking with a friend and she mentioned that she got out of the market when the DOW hit 10K – went into a CD.  This was the moment I was dreading.  I already felt ashamed, and was just waiting for the moment when I could feel even worse about my decisions and myself regarding my retirement accounts.  I am still holding about 50% equities, and my accounts are sinking like stones.  I have stewed about her remark ever since, feeling afraid and ashamed for my decisions.  Like a fool, I watch the DOW and base my feelings on it’s ups and downs.  At these times, my only hope is that everyone is freaking out as much as I am, so that I don’t have to feel alone in this.

So, I got up this morning, went to the gym and ran my ass off.  I do feel better.

It is so easy to sink into the fearful place though – even when desperation is not my current reality.  First, my financial advisor has already told me that I am alright financially.  And, about a week ago, at lunch with my daughter, she mentioned that she is trying to reframe her panic thoughts by reminding herself that the bad economy is not her reality.  She is doing fine.  I have been trying to use that reference.  My life in the here and now is great.  I have new equipment for the studio, still have customers, am playing a fun little gig tonight and today I am in the studio working on a tune of my own.

Point here is that I am fine.

I am also trying to see this time as an opportunity to cut back on needless expenses and learn to live on less.  Given my age, I would have been having to do this anyway as I approach (not there yet) cutting back on the hours I work.   Another thing that I am thinking is that this economic depression will be the last of this depth for my life time.  I just need to get through this one.  In retrospect, my life has been free of this kind of thing, the depression that shaped my parents thinking about money and security.  I guess it is my turn.

So, in the midst of the panic (mine), I am trying to employ as many new and old coping strategies as I can to stay sane – including venting here as I listen to Bob Marley sing  “Everything’s gonna be alright.” (No Woman, No Cry)

peace,

t

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