Tom Volhein

It’s been a while.  I have had some challenging times.  And sometimes I feel that there is nothing to say, or that what I have to say is frivolous.  To some I suppose it is.

I am working on and in the studio a lot these days.  I have formed a trio and we are rehearsing.  I am laying down some tracks in preparation for bringing the trio into the studio to do some cover tunes.  Also, we have a gig at 7:45pm on June 24th at:
The Beaded Lizard Gathering
Devonshire Community Center
2802 E Devonshire Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85016
(602) 256-3130

We are gearing up for a performance at the Flagstaff Folk Festival, June 27 and 28.  I don’t know yet what day and what time.  I will put it into the calendar as soon as I know.

I have been building acoustic panels.  I finished Studio A, and am starting on the Control Room.  I should be done with everything by the end of June.

I am also working on a client’s cd.  I am playing bass on it and engineering it.  I think that it will turn out very nice.  We are about to wrap up the lead vocal, guitar and bass.  Then we will add some solo instruments.

I am in a worrying state this morning.  I have a bunch of negative “what ifs” rolling around in my head.  They are about my dog Oscar.  Yesterday he had an operation to take a cyst off of his eyelid.  I worried all day, then picked him up last night.  Of course he was groggy and not himself, under the influence.  He was really groggy at home too.  I hate to see him like this.  This morning he is still groggy.  I am scared.

Last week my grandson shared with me something that his employer, an old cowboy, told him.  He said that indeed bad things happen.  What I have control of is my worry.  So I can feel bad from now until something bad happens, or I can wait until the bad thing happens to feel bad – and not waste time worrying about something that might happen, a what if.

The gist of it is that I can chose to not worry.  That is hard for me to believe.  I trust my worrying and use it to motivate myself.  For me, what ifs are just the fuel for my random worry and shame.  Worry and shame keep me moving.  But they take such a toll.  And I am tired of them, tired physically and emotionally.

This morning the what ifs are about Oscar?  Is he sick?  Is he dying?  Will he get well?  What if he dies?   How will I feel?  What will I do without him?  Of course some day Oscar will die, I will be crushed.  But now is probably not the time, and my worrying about his death doesn’t serve either one of us.  But damn, it is hard to not worry, harder still to believe that I have the capability to not worry.

So, today I will test this out.  I will do the best I can to not play what if with Oscar’s recovery.  As he gets better, which I am certain in my heart he will, I will challenge my worries, see if I can make some headway.

To sum, there are lots of good things going on, and I want to think about those things, not things that could go wrong.  I wish myself luck.

peace,

t

PS:  The Oscar, worry story is a copy of a comment that I posted on my daughter’s web site, and can be found HERE.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS